This article was originally published 01/13/2017. It was republished 06/15/2019 and now 04/12/2020. This article will be placed under the Wellness LifePath category due to its general description of human nature and our tendency toward addictive behavior and resistance to change, even when that is precisely what we are asking for. The Wellness LifePath is a down-to-earth approach to living a Prymal lifestyle, for living and being the magykal creatures we are in this experience. I am excited to finally being able to formulate the long awaited series as soon as I manage to get the rest of my research and belongings moved to the new location. I and the furry team were rapidly uprooted again, for reasons that are only now beginning to make sense. If I have learned anything about the winds of change during this amazing quest, is it is futile to resist it. And I don't even ask questions anymore. The more I resist the harder it becomes. So, thank you so much everyone who understands and has been supportive of yet another upheaval. Love to you all.
This is so relevant right now in times of extreme change globally with the pandemic lock down measures. The rubber band wound and wound with everyone screaming "change" and now here we are midst the change observing how change really happens.
We sit around continuously whining how we want things to change, pointing fingers at all of the outside errors and violations we can detect. But then...change happens. And what do we do? We start the desperate back peddling and in comes the victimstance excuses of justification and rationalization. We freak out because the change that is happening may not be unfolding the way we perceived it should. We freak out because change is uncomfortable and most times rather messy. And the ways we respond are usually much less than graceful.
We either accept and move through the change, or we try to cling to the familiar and resist the currents of destruction that surround us. You see, victims don't generally choose to remain in their abusive environments out of enjoyment of the abuse or trauma. They choose to remain because the abuse and trauma has become familiar. Familiar in spite of the danger. In spite of the damage. Why? Because familiar is less frightening than the unknown.
The familiar has become habit. And habits that have become the master become addictions. And addictions can be connected to any person, place, or thing one chases to fill whatever perceived void they have within.
Now, this subject is a very complex one. But the basic tenet to bear in mind is that the void within will NEVER be filled or sated with external sources. It must fill from within. Ideas and support, the nutrients for internal psyche growth, can be utilized. But those ideas and supports can never replace your own inner wounded core that has retreated after a long history of deception, trauma, abuse, and neglect. These things that are seen as being caused from an external environment are nothing compared to that which we inflict upon ourselves from the inside. We have very little control over the outside. But we do have all that is needed on the inside.
While it is necessary to identify and minimize/eliminate any external threats, be they people, places, or things, the real work is within. That is where the real housecleaning begins. It takes real work and pure, primal honesty with Self. Sometimes we must reach out and lean on others as we begin to mend internally. But do not get too overly comfortable there either, lest you risk trading one addiction for another - avoiding the underlying source(s) of the perpetual death spiral.
Be gentle, but firm with yourself. Do not avoid the pain and discomfort. This avoidance is the very catalyst that set up the habit in the first place. This does not mean wallowing in the mire any longer than necessary either. You will find the ebb and flow eventually if you only continue to address the blockages, release them, and then allow the true primal energy within to flow.
Now some well-meaning helpers will suggest what boils down to replacing one habit with what might be considered a less damaging habit. This may get one through eventually, but unless that replacement is addressed it will be just as damaging on other levels of your being. Eventually, to truly heal, the core issue must be reconciled. Then, and only then, will the void fill from within. Without the need of external reinforcement or replacement. Putting the plug in the jug, so to speak, is the very first critical step. Then the search for new tools, resources, and behaviors can commence. Just never stop with the temporary crutch. Eventually you must toss away the crutches and walk free and sovereign as you were meant to be.
As we experience this thing called "human" we can either allow our habitual nature to support our progress and growth, or we can allow it to consume us bit by bit. It all narrows down to choice. YOUR choice. No one or no thing else. YOU!!!
And you ARE worthy, simply by being YOU.
Blessings, Gratitude, & Safe Passage
Marilee NiEtain
Mystik Midwyfe/Elder, Crafter, & Author/Scribe
Mystik Mountain Home
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